463,634. That is how many people ages 12 and up per year in the United States are sexually assaulted. 63,000 are children, according to the Fairfax County Department of Family Services. According to recent data published by the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS – FBI), approximately 104,700 sexual assaults are actually reported each year.
2,970. Does that number mean anything to you? It should. According to the North Carolina State Bureau of Investigation (SBI) and the Department of Public Safety, that is the reported number of sexual assaults in North Carolina. Preliminary data from 2025 shows a 12% decrease, which brings the number down to 2,614. Amongst the Raleigh Police Department and the Wake County Sheriff’s Department combined, there are between 500 and 550 reported sexual assaults.
Often, society places the blame on victims of sexual assault, citing things like what the victim was wearing, whether they were even slightly intoxicated or what they possibly interpreted as flirting. Many cases are also excused due to the person being in a romantic relationship with their abuser. Although you may be in a relationship with someone, that alone does not give consent.
According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), “More than 1 in 3 women (nearly 43.5 million) and more than 1 in 6 men (20.7 million) experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetimes.”
There are also a lot of misconceptions about sexual assault or rape because of phrases like “boys will be boys” and “it’s your fault.” Phrases passed down from mother to son, or even mother to daughter, are very often referenced when someone is contemplating speaking up. Assuming someone has to act a certain way or say a certain thing in order to be classified as a “victim” is another major reason people choose not to speak out.
There is also the subject of victim-blaming, where present-day society continues to adopt the outdated habit of blaming sexual assault victims. You can’t blame someone for being assaulted and then being supposedly outraged that they did not report it. Many people in high school face this problem. When an anonymous person reported their sexual assault, they were met with social backlash and an onslaught of jokes and disrespect their way.
“Many people told me that it was “bros before hoes.” They said that although they believed me, they didn’t want to give up their friendship with him. He was supposed to not be around me, but he was pushed closer to me multiple times at prom, and the same people who claimed to support me laughed. I didn’t know what to do. It hurt me,” said an anonymous Athens student.
Nobody talks enough about the shaming that comes from the parents of victims, who often either don’t know how to handle what has happened to their children or encourage their children not to speak out about what happened to them.
Social reputation is such a big part of high school because students are quick to judge one another, which can make reporting sexual assault even more difficult and isolating.
All of this just to say you cannot expect someone to share that they’ve been assaulted and then shame them in the same breath. To truly support someone who has been assaulted, you have to sit with them and listen to them.
To anyone reading this, if you’ve been assaulted, please know that I hear you, and I acknowledge what you’ve been through. Also, know that help is available 24/7. The National Sexual Assault Hotline number is 1-800-656-4673.
