The amazing 2020 presidential candidates

Behind the scenes of the 2020 Presidential Election, Joe Biden and Donald Trump gather for their annual Octoberfest supper. The two have been close friends ever since their paths crossed in the 1970s and often speak very highly of each other. This is one of the reasons why people are stressed about who to vote for—both Biden and Trump are hard to beat. 

“I’ve never been faced with a decision like this. Both candidates have exceptional points and flawless histories, so I’m still undecided,” said Lebron James, political analyst for The Onion.

Biden has made his case that he supports President Trump firmly, but believes that an older President is needed to represent the seniors in our country. Biden outages his conservative opponent by nearly four years, making him the oldest presidential candidate ever, with second place going to Trump. Bernie Sanders tops them both at 79 years old, but surprisingly lost in the democratic primaries. 

“The American people are tired of millennials! We need representatives who have the most experience, and I am older than that old guy and the orange one,” said Sanders.

Trump’s claim to fame is that he is a self-made billionaire, only taking a small loan of a few dollars from his father to start his businesses. He then grew into a TV star on his show, “The Apprentice,” where he coined his infamous catch phrase, “you’re hired!” In the business world, Trump owns multiple successful hotels and casinos, reporting millions of dollars in losses each year.

“My casinos are the best casinos anyone has ever seen in the history of casinos. People go in there and walk out with twice the money they came in with. They are, quite frankly, the best in the world,” said Trump. 

Biden and Trump have both been praised for their handlings with foreign relations, pointing to why tensions with outside countries are at an all-time low in 2020. Biden has been reported to receive donations through his son from the president of Ukraine for his generosity towards their country. Trump, on the other hand, has restored peace with the People’s Republic of China, signing new trade deals that benefit both nations. 

Many mainstream media outlets (widely known for their outpouring of support for president Trump) have continuously talked about the New York Times report that states that Trump paid $750 in federal income taxes. Trump’s generosity has helped him gain independent voters in key swing states, because in his time in office, he had a net income that was below zero dollars. Despite his negative income, he still dipped into his savings in order to pay his fair share of taxes, showing character that only Joe Biden can match. 

“Whoever wins this election following the recounting of votes, America will be in the best of hands,” said Biden.